im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
