babies were throwing up all over the place
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
