Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
