he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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