We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
