North Korea, Best Korea!
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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