And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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