Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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