Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
