I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
