Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
