how hairy? two words: wookie tits
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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