Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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