This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
