Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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