I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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