it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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