My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
