i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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