I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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