Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
