I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
