I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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