at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
