Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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