I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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