i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
