Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
