Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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