We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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