god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
