she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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