life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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