Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
