IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
