im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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