I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
