So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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