If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
