Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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