At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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