he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
