And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
