i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
