I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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