This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
