are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
