I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
