I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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