It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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